How Practicing Gratitude Can Build Resilience

 How Practicing Gratitude Can Build Resilience

 

By Sadie Tollberg, Outreach Director  

The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at VVSD, Los Angeles

 

Resiliency. The definition of resiliency is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, toughness. That is something that was taught during my time in service, but I do not know if this word was ever used. 

 

In the military, you can feel like you are kicked over and over but it is not about getting kicked, it is about getting back up again and becoming stronger each time. I remember thinking that I was always given hard tasks and put in situations where I was scared, and I was not happy about it at the time. But those were some of my most character building and mentally and physically strengthening moments of my career. Gratitude came from really recognizing the small things and how important they are in the grand scheme of things. When I was deployed and there were days without water to shower, or air conditioning I found ways to be grateful for the things I did have. I took that and brough it home with me and teach it to my children.  I served for a total of nine years between active duty and reserves: deployed twice to Iraq with 27 months overseas. I turned 20, 21 and 23 years old while deployed. While other people were off at college, I was learning and getting my education in other ways in the military. 

 

After I left active duty, I did go to college and got my degree in nursing. I remember thinking that all my classmates were so much younger than me, not just by age but by maturity level because they had not experienced the same kind of responsibility and resiliency that I had with my time in the service. It was hard to relate to them because they did not know what it was like, for example, to sleep on concrete in Iraq. 

 

But, if anything, I was able to do one thing with my classmates – show them what resiliency looks like. It was not until I was about to graduate when I had a conversation with a few of my friends and they told me they were watching me and the way I handled things. When there was a hard day in clinicals or after a particularly hard test, I would be there to boost everyone back up. As my senior year approached, we found out my husband would be stationed 4 hours away for the remainder of my degree. I had to live a single mom life with our three-year-old. This built some serious resiliency and my classmates noticed. I was taken aback because during school, I tried not to bring up my military service. I considered myself a silent professional. 

 

In addition to resiliency, I was also told that I helped my friends practice gratitude for the little things. Whenever one of my friends had a difficult day, I was there to show them how to be grateful. Someone else was complaining about a minor inconvenience, so we talked about how lucky we are to have this minor inconvenience because some people do not even have access to the things that we do, like running water and a warm place to sleep at night. 

 

I went into nursing after the military because I love giving back to people and I love helping them. Now, I have gone in a different direction. I still help people, but this time by promoting mental health care and self-care as an Outreach Director with the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at VVSD, as part of Cohen Veterans Network, which provides high-quality, accessible, evidence-based care to veterans, service members and military families throughout the country.

 

Cohen Veterans Network caught my eye not only for the mission it serves, but also the population that is so near and dear to my heart. With my own health journey, and the obstacles I have faced, I am now able to help clear a way for the next person reaching out for help.

 

If you do not take care of yourself, you have nothing. And there is so much to be thankful for when it comes to our own bodies and our mind. So, take a minute today to practice gratitude and be proud of your resiliency, even if you are still working on it. The fact that you can recognize that you are resilient or want to be resilient is light years ahead of some who are still trying to figure this idea out. Sometimes you do not know what you do not know, so here is your friendly reminder to look inward, be proud of what you have accomplished and continue to shine for yourself first and foremost. 

 

As I reflect on Veterans Day this year, I cannot help but focus my attention on the gratitude I have for those I am surrounded with in my life. The support through not only my organization I work for, but also within the veteran community in southern California has made such an impact on me! I can feel some major impact coming up with the future here to help others build resiliency for themselves and practice gratitude in all areas of their lives. 

 

 

Sadie Tollberg is a U.S. Army veteran and a spouse to an active-duty U.S. Army soldier. She served nine years with two deployments to Iraq in active and reserve as a Chemical Operation Specialist. As the Outreach Director for the Cohen Clinic at VVSD, Los Angeles, Sadie says she gets to live out her passion daily by meeting new people, creating community through events and spreading awareness far and wide. When she is not working on something health related, Sadie loves to travel with her family and see different cultures and nature throughout the world. She loves being outdoors and under water! “I am grateful for every day I am on this earth,” she said.